Hello friends!!! I’m currently writing to you 20,000 feet in the air above the Grand Canyon, on a flight to San Francisco, California. I’m feeling inspired, so I thought I’d just jot down my thoughts while they’re fresh in my head. I’m not even sure if this post is going to end up being published, but I’m just going to roll with it.
Just about a year ago, I wrote a “Coffee with Me” series and I thought I’d bring that back and make it a series, where I can just ramble away and share my thoughts with you all, with no real structure. A little like a diary, I guess. Today I want to talk about finding strength from within. This past month has been really rocky for me. I’ve talked about it here and there, but never really gave details. Unfortunately, I won’t be spilling the tea in today’s post- don’t worry, it is coming soon! However, I do think that maybe it’s a good thing I’m not being specific with what’s going on, since maybe it’ll be a little more relatable to some of you.
So let’s just get into it… This past month has been filled with changes big and small. As someone who has essentially been in my comfort zone for 21 years now, I can’t say I’ve been the most graceful adapting to these changes. I’ve found myself having to rely on myself more and more, and I think that’s just part of adulthood. I have such amazing people surrounding me, like a loving family (seriously scored with this one) and a boyfriend who I know loves me with all his heart. The thing is though, I’ve come to realize that although it is so incredibly important to have a good community surrounding you, you will still find yourself alone at times. And when you’re not used to it, it hurts like hell.
Some nights I can’t sleep no matter how hard I try, and it’s incredibly daunting. The funny thing is, though, that when these things happen, you have no choice but to find strength from within yourself. I don’t know what you religion you believe in- Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, or just good juju in the world- whatever it is, just know that you are made strong enough to withstand anything if you put your mind to it.
Something that’s really helped me in the past month, is when I’m struggling and can’t “jumpstart myself,” just breathe and tell yourself everything’s going to be okay. I’m not sure maybe if this is what people diagnose as anxiety, but lately I’ve found myself worrying about things I have no business in worrying about yet. For example, I can daydream myself to death thinking about what the heck I’m going to do with myself when someone I love dies, since (thank God) I haven’t had to endure this just yet. But the thing is, if we focus so much on what could go wrong, we can miss out on some really amazing opportunities right in front of us.
You all will find out more soon, but today marks a pretty significant day for me. I’m taking the leap, and hoping someone will catch me! The thing is though, that even if nobody catches me, I’ll be okay. If I fall, I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off, and thank God for this crazy beautiful scary life.